【IELTS Writing Task 2】MAIさんの回答（6.5）

昨日のHiroさんに引き続き、Maiさんの回答を大公開！

「それ、途中で終わっちゃってます…」って…！

十分書いてます！！！！！ｗ

私が見てきた中で一番赤ペンが少ない…

４０分でこんなエッセイが書けるようになりたくないですか＾＾

文章書ける人は話せる人です。

WritingはSpeakingの一歩手前のアウトプットじゃないかな～と私は思ってます。

【問題】

There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take?

Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones?

【回答】

The role of smartphone nowadays in our life has already became very important that can not be downgraded anymore. As people receive the benefits from the technology, that outweigh the negative facts.

Regarding the facts that the development of the smartphone has changed our lifestyle convenient than even before in fact it is still in progress. For example, many people are able to make some free or cheaper phone and video calls by using online networks through the phone. This encourages people to be connected tightly especially for families and in the business world. Another benefit is that small equipment can be connected seamlessly to personal computer at work place or home which help many business person to be able to work any places they stay even if they are in overseas. They can receive emails, book flights and accommodations, receive or give notice of changes in their schedule directly to or from others without any concerns of time difference. Moreover, the function of bank transfer make many busy business person capable of work in any conditions. In addition, clock is very basic function that many people use everywhere without being noticed much.

In contrast, there are three major problem  caused by the technology. One is medical problem that affects loss of hearing by listening to loud music and having frequent calls in crouded places. Second is technical problem that was evident from research that electromagnotic wave maight couse a serious damage to human brain especially for people who speaks on the phone and who charges their phone next to their pillow at night. lastly, social problem is sensationally broadcasted through media as cybercrimes such as hacking, voyeurism, cyberbullying and many other new crimes are appearing everyday.

To conclude, although there are some negative effects with the use of invention, These can be prevented by knowing the proper ways to use the technology for that situation, people can recieve more benefit than harm.